What is Abuse

Intimate partner violence and abuse comes in many forms, whether physical, emotional or sexual, and it leaves deep marks that can be long-lasting.

Intimate partner violence and abuse includes, but is not limited to:

  • Emotional abuse such as criticisms and put-downs
  • Physical violence such as pushing and hitting, pinching, grabbing, choking, slapping
  • Sexual violence, such as non-consensual sex
  • Explicit or implied threats of harm against the woman and/or her children
  • Public or social humiliation
  • Financial control
  • Controlling behaviours that isolate a woman from friends, family or community and restricts her ability to make her own decisions
  • Destroying property or harming or neglecting pets

Comox Valley Transition Society can provide information and education to help you in making safe choices.

Does your partner...

  • Get jealous when you’re around other people?
  • Make fun of you in front of friends and family?
  • Destroy, or threaten to destroy, your possessions?
  • Praise you one minute and put you down the next?
  • Call you names or threaten you/threaten to take your children?
  • Ignore you or not take you seriously?
  • Make you choose between family/friends & them?
  • Push you around or hit you?
  • Say that abuse is wrong but hit the walls and yell at you?

Do you...

  • Have to ask permission to spend money or go out?
  • Feel isolated from friends, family and activities?
  • Have to make things right just for them?
  • Feel it’s your fault when anything goes wrong?

Do you feel...

  • Afraid to make decisions for fear of their reaction or anger?
  • That you have to check in if you go anywhere?
  • That they are trying to run your life?
  • Afraid to tell them if you have a good time?
  • That maybe all the terrible things they say about you are coming true or happening?
  • That you have to put your dreams and goals on hold?
  • Afraid to express your own opinions or say ‘no’ to something?
  • Your joy in your life diminishing?
  • Afraid to break up or leave them?

If you answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. You are not alone.

In solidarity

The Comox Valley Transition Society is deeply saddened to learn of the finding of unmarked graves of children at the sites of several former residential schools.

As an anti-oppressive organization working to end violence, poverty and homelessness we recognize that the residential school system was part of a larger system of racism and cultural genocide that continues to this day and continues to impact the lives of First Nations, Inuit and Metis persons and communities.

CVTS is committed to listening to, and learning from, Indigenous staff, clients and community partners and to taking action towards the implementation of recommendations of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission that pertain to our work.

Click here to view some recommendations of what we can all do from the Indian Residential School Survivor Society with additions from the BC Society of Transition Houses.